You’ll Be Surprised

by Tim Tyckoson

Tim Tyckoson

I was genuinely surprised when I first heard him say it. He listed the names of some of the best speakers in our club and that list included me. After the meeting I approached him with thanks and he continued to bestow me with compliments. He stated that I had ‘the gift’ and was a natural speaker and leader. “Paul,” I said, “thanks for those kind words. It hasn’t always been this way.”

There was a time in my life when I preferred limited interaction with others. I would go to work, do my job, and come home for an evening at home with my family. Life was simple. Life was good. We lived in St Louis near where my wife Gina grew up so we had her friends for social activities. We’d take the kids to the park or the zoo. We’d have the occasional Cardinal’s game or theatre event. And every Sunday our church provided groups for us and the little ones. My circle(s) of friends knew me and the way I was. Why on earth would I want to interfere with this arrangement?

Gina discovered this group called Toastmasters at her office and joined after a couple visits. Now she was preparing speeches and reviewing duties for evaluating others at home and periodically rehearsing them at home. Frankly, I did not see the attraction. First of all, why would anyone WANT to get before a group of strangers and speak, at all? Secondly, why would that same person WANT someone there to tell him how it went? It seemed to me like one of those ‘kill me now’ moments. But Gina has always been more socially inclined than I and I recognized how that type of personal development could benefit her professionally. She gave her speeches (In fact her Ice Breaker was inspired by a Valentine gift I made for her.) and I would listen and give helpful pointers when asked. As schedules allowed I visited her club to witness a club meeting yet my interest remained as a spectator only. Then life threw one of its surprises at us. We’re moving.

Welcomed by Florida’s sunshine and daily summer showers, we found ourselves in what seemed a different world. Places, people, and problems we don’t recognize. A different work schedule and unfamiliar school schedules left many questions. Now we knew no one in the neighborhood and the closest relatives were a long hour away. I was slow to do so, but I reached out to some others at work who, like me, had just moved to the area and laid the foundation for friendships. Once the moving in was done, Gina found a Toastmasters club to visit. I was still hesitant about speaking before an audience and continued my fly on the wall approach to people.

After three years in Florida and her previous club disbanding, Gina wanted to start a new club in her office. To do this, she had to become a member of another club,any club. She visited Omni Toastmasters in Lake Mary. I still classified myself as a quiet, reserved person –not quite withdrawn, but definitely not outgoing. I was working the midnight shift at the postal processing center. There was no reason that I would ever need to give a presentation to any group of any size. But I went to visit the club, too. I visited again. And again. Surprise! I joined.

The functionary roles were the first step –learning to listen more carefully- and after a few weeks, I gave my Ice Breaker. When I was done, much to my surprise, they all clapped. I did it. I gave a speech. A few weeks later I gave another. Within a year I was most of the way done with my basic manual and I had competed in a speech contest. A few more months passed and I had received a beautiful Certificate from Toastmasters claiming (certifying) that I am a Competent Communicator. I had also served as a club officer. Other members of the club have taken me in their speeches to Turkey, China, Russia, and other faraway places. The world is a different place for me now. We attend the semi-annual conferences and I am no longer that fly on the wall watching. I am meeting new people and greeting friends from other clubs (I knew having a good memory for names would be useful someday.)

Becoming a Letter Carrier was a great change. Not only do I get to sleep at night again, but also I have the energy and ability to participate at more events. Without the fear or reservations about conversing with anyone, I have more confidence in my approach to people, and activities that I would have shied away from in the past. This includes out of the Toastmasters realm. Here in central Florida there is a vocal group called SingLive. Anyone can join and sing in the performances, but if you have the desire to sing a solo or as part of an ensemble you must audition. I understand that there is no direct correlation from Toastmasters to singing, but the confidence is the same whether to give a speech or sing a song. Three friends and I auditioned a number and Surprise! we were cast in the show.

There was once a man named Tim who was not at all like me. He was quiet and preferred to watch others. I check in on him from time to time. You may not ever see him again, but he is now living a more fulfilling life. Thank you again, Paul, for your kind words and I encourage anyone who wonders what it is like to speak in front of 10 or 20 or 100 people could be like; give Toastmasters a chance. You’ll be surprised.