The Vintner's Daughter

by Theodore J. Allman, ACS, ALB

There are only two seasons in Minnesota: winter and pothole repair, which is a local euphemism for summer. Since it was not yet summer, my 1960 Fiat Spider had sustained some damage to its undercarriage from one of these potholes. It was more like a cauldron hole. Because parts for a Fiat had to come from Italy, I was driving a “loaner” from the repair shop, a '50's something pea green station wagon.

By evening I was ready to collapse, but I had a date, ostensibly to celebrate the end of another school year. I got to Patti's house about 7 –  in my station wagon, where I was greeted by Frank. Normally I am not intimidated by meeting a potential father-in-law, but he wanted me to follow him into the basement. I might have been alarmed, but already sleep deprivation had diminished my resistance and caution.

However, he only wanted to show me his pet project – making wine. There were vats of fermenting mash and paraphernalia everywhere. I feigned interest and asked a few dumb questions when finally Patti called from upstairs. “Are you ready?” Oh yeah.

As we walked down the driveway, she asked, “Where's the Spider?” After proffering an explanation, she consented to get in, reluctantly.

We cruised around Minneapolis until we were thoroughly lost. By 3:00 in the morning, we finally found our way back to the right part of town and her house. There had been no petting or making out, but I still shook with apprehension as I pulled into her driveway. And sure enough, here comes Frank flailing his arms for me to wait for him.

The man had no concept of the hour. He only wanted me to take a crock of mash home. Since the hour hadn't disturbed him, I certainly didn't want to insult him by refusing to share his hobby. We lowered the back seat which provided a metal platform on which to place the 15 gallon crock of fermenting grape mash. Then I left for home, relieved.

The soporific drive lead to a predictable conclusion. BANG! I had fallen asleep, and veered into a very stout tree. My head struck the steering column and I was knocked unconscious. The inertial forces on the wine vat sent it sliding forward until it struck the back of the bench seat. A tsunami of grape mash inundated everything in front.

As I regained consciousness, my head was resting on the steering wheel with my gaze focused on the window ledge of the driver's door – on a grape. In my confused state, I figured it must be my eye. I reached out for it and was trying to put it back in the socket, when the policeman appeared at my window and asked if I had been drinking.

I was befuddled. Here I was trying to restore my sight when he wanted to know if I had been drinking. Of course, I didn't realize the whole car smelled like a brewery, or what it must have looked like to see me pressing a grape into my bloody face. He wanted to see me walk and was kind enough to open the door for me. As my only support was removed, I tumbled to the ground and lapsed back into unconsciousness. I was next aware of someone yelling profanities at me, accusing me of damaging her beautiful tree. I laid there absorbing verbal abuse until the ambulance arrived and rescued me.

 After getting my broken nose temporarily set at the hospital and few hours of R and R, I was allowed to leave, but not before answering a few innocuous questions from my friendly police officer who had been waiting all this time. He was sure he could get me on a DUI, but an intern assured him that the only alcohol was on me, not in me.

The Answer to all our Club Membership Questions

by Gina Lockhart, DTM

Lakeview Toastmasters - Club Mentor, Sponsor and VPE

Three of us started a brand new toastmaster club a year and a half ago. We had many concerns as we contemplated chartering such as…

• How will we get a minimum of 20 members and keep them?
• How will we get the members to come to each meeting and stay excited about Toastmasters?
• How do we get them to sign up to give speeches?
• How can we have fun while learning?
• Who will want to be an officer?
• How will we become a Presidents Distinguished club every year?
• How do we get visitors to come to our meetings, become members and bring their friends and coworkers?

Naturally between the three of us, we came up with plenty of answers from having open houses, passing out fliers to having guest speakers and bringing food. Yes, food always works well we found out but we get tired of bringing it every week and it can be costly. We found the best solution was a balance between all of these. We came up with monthly themed meetings and we GO ALL OUT!

Here’s how it works: Each officer chooses a month and is in charge of the themed meeting for that month. The officer chooses a theme and they can grab a team of 1-2 more people if desired. The themes can be anything, i.e., Feb – Hearts, Red, Love or Cardio, (we are a healthcare company), you can be creative here. Then they ask for volunteers or use a signup sheet for members to bring food and decorations. This is all voluntary, not mandatory. Then they announce their theme one month in advance, so there is always a themed meeting to look forward to. The Grammarian, speakers and table topic master are then asked to choose a word of the day, speeches and topics that incorporate the theme. At the end of the meeting, we socialize over the food and snacks that were brought, like red velvet cupcakes and punch for our Feb cardio theme. Members and visitors love it, the work is not all on one officer and its easy to do! Each month is a different theme. Members can take a month too if they are motivated or they can be helpers. It even fits the criteria in their CL manual so they credit for it as well. You can have any theme like International month, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving or Cardboard Box Day. Be creative. The theme doesn’t matter, what matters is, it is a meeting that everyone looks forward to attending, its different from the usual meetings and members love bringing guests to them. Plus there is food. Having themed meetings once a month we found are not too often but just often enough. Of course, still have your guest speakers come and prepare your open houses with fliers for the meetings in between the themed meetings. Keep the variety going for your meetings and the members guessing at what will be next. You will notice a greater attendance at weekly meetings, new members joining often, membership retention, DCP points rising, a line of members ready to be an officer for next term and your signup sheets will be filled with speakers weeks in advance! We say whoever coordinates the themed meeting is Toastmaster for that day.

What did I choose for my month? I chose ‘It’s Everyone’s Birthday!’ This themed meeting was complete with party hats, balloons, noise makers, presents for table topics and birthday slides on the screen. To polish off the meeting, we concluded with a Banana Dream Cake, candles and singing for all of our birthdays (it was fun trying to fit everyone’s name in that song). We love having themed meetings and we keep a solid 24 members. What theme will you choose first?

It's Not How You Start but How You Finish

by Rikesh Amin, CC, ALB

Three years ago I competed in my first international speech contest. It was in 2012 and I had been a member of Toastmasters for two years at that time. I remember having a difficult time choosing a topic for my speech. My name was called up and I began my speech. It was going well... until I reached the half way point and my mind just went blank as I lost my place. I froze but did not panic. A good 20 seconds went by, although it felt like 20 minutes, as I stayed silent trying to think what to say next. I eventually remembered and finished my speech. After the contest, a fellow Toastmaster walked up to me and said that "It's not how you start, but it's how you finish people remember."

Fast forward to 2015 and I am competing for the second time. I learned a couple of things from three years ago which helped. The first was to focus on a story (rather than a topic) and find your message through it. The second was that no matter how you begin, you can still turn it around. With these points in mind, I began my speech. However, nerves set in and I became unsure of my introduction and fumbled a little in my opening. My heart sunk a little remembering back three years ago but my brain marched on as I told myself the reason I was doing it was to improve. I found that this time I could remember my topic a lot easier because I used a story and found a message in it. This helped me focus and finish strong. Many in attendance told me afterwards it was the most complete and best speech they had seen me give. I felt vindicated a little as the same Toastmaster walked up to me and said again "It wasn't how you started, but how you finished that was the difference."  

Just like in speeches, sports, and life in general it is true that it is not about where you came from but where you are and where you are going that counts more. The next time something happens, remember that It's not how you start that matters, but how you finish.